40 Lessons to Reignite Your Spark: Wisdom Gained Over 40 Years of Living

Seetal Parikh-Chopra, PhD
5 min readMay 11, 2023

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Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash

This year marks a milestone for me — I turned 40.

To celebrate this special year, I wanted to share 40 lessons I’ve learned in the past four decades of living.

Some of these are hard-earned, while others are simple yet profound.

Regardless, they all have contributed to who I am today.

Here they are, in no particular order:

  1. Embrace failure as a natural part of growth. It is an opportunity to learn, adapt and improve.
  2. Focus on what you can control, not what you can’t. Worrying about things beyond your control only leads to unnecessary stress.
  3. Get crystal clear on your personal values: Knowing your personal values can help guide your decisions and give you a sense of purpose. Take the time to reflect on what matters most to you and make choices that align with those values.
  4. Make time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Self-care is crucial for mental and emotional well-being.
  5. Keep learning. Education doesn’t stop when you leave school. Cultivate curiosity and seek out new knowledge.
  6. Build your personal brand. Your personal brand is a reflection of who you are and what you stand for. Cultivate a strong personal brand that aligns with your values and goals to help you stand out and achieve success.
  7. Walk through a graveyard. Visiting a cemetery can be a powerful reminder of our mortality and can help us appreciate the time we have on this earth. It can also be a peaceful and reflective experience.
  8. Practice gratitude. Take time to appreciate the good things in your life, no matter how small.
  9. Work for a nonprofit. Working for a nonprofit can provide a sense of fulfillment and purpose, knowing that your work is helping to make a positive impact on the world. Plus, it can help you develop valuable skills and connect with like-minded individuals who share your values.
  10. Don’t take things personally. People’s actions and opinions are often a reflection of their own experiences and beliefs.
  11. Drink more water. Staying hydrated is essential for overall health and well-being. Make sure to drink plenty of water throughout the day to keep your body functioning at its best.
  12. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding you would offer to a loved one.
  13. Embrace your uniqueness. You are one of a kind, and that is something to celebrate.
  14. Listen more than you speak. You can learn a lot from others by simply paying attention. Turn on those listening ears.
  15. Be honest with yourself and others. Honesty builds trust and fosters deeper connections.
  16. Set rules for yourself. Setting rules and boundaries for yourself can help you stay focused and achieve your goals. Whether it’s setting limits on screen time or creating a schedule for your day, establishing clear guidelines can help you prioritize what matters most to you.
  17. Live in the present moment. The past is behind you, and the future is unknown. Focus on the here and now.
  18. Surround yourself with positive people. Your environment has a significant impact on your mood and mindset.
  19. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It takes strength to admit when you need assistance.
  20. Dance your heart out at every wedding. Life is too short to be self-conscious on the dance floor. Let loose and have fun, regardless of whether you’re a great dancer or not.
  21. Set boundaries. It’s okay to say no to things that don’t align with your values or priorities.
  22. Be mindful of your spending. Money doesn’t buy happiness, but managing it wisely can alleviate stress.
  23. Don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone has their own unique journey and timeline.
  24. Don’t over-consume information, learn to execute. It’s easy to get caught up in consuming information and ideas, but true growth and progress come from taking action and putting those ideas into practice.
  25. Learn to let go of things that no longer serve you. Clutter, grudges, and negative self-talk are just a few examples.
  26. Take responsibility for your own happiness. It’s not up to anyone else to make you happy.
  27. Practice empathy. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes can foster understanding and compassion.
  28. Start a business. Entrepreneurship can be a great way to pursue your passions and create something meaningful. Don’t be afraid to take risks and start multiple ventures until you find the one that resonates with you.
  29. Speak up for what you believe in. Your voice matters.
  30. Find a creative outlet. Whether it’s painting, writing, or dancing, creative expression is good for the soul.
  31. Prioritize your mental health. It’s just as important as your physical health.
  32. Practice mindfulness. Being present and aware can reduce stress and anxiety
  33. Learn to say no. It’s okay to decline invitations or requests that don’t align with your values or goals.
  34. Talk with older people you respect. Older individuals have a wealth of life experience and wisdom to share. Seek out their advice and learn from their perspectives.
  35. Practice active listening. Give your full attention to the person speaking and seek to understand their perspective.
  36. Keep a growth mindset. Believe that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work.
  37. Stay curious. Ask questions, explore new ideas, and challenge your assumptions.
  38. Value experiences over possessions. Memories and relationships last longer than material things.
  39. Write hand-written thank you notes. Taking the time to express gratitude through a handwritten note can make a lasting impression on others and help cultivate deeper relationships.
  40. Work on strength training and stretching. Exercise is important for physical and mental health. Incorporating strength training and stretching into your routine can help improve your mobility, reduce pain and stress, and enhance your overall fitness.
  41. Closed mouths don’t get fed — ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want or need. Speaking up and asking questions can help you get the information or resources you need to achieve your goals.

As I reflect on my 40th year, I am grateful for all the lessons I have learned so far.

These lessons, plus an extra one for good luck, have helped me become a better version of myself (I definitely feel like I’ve upgraded), and I hope they can do the same for you.

Whether you’re in your 40s or any other age, it’s never too late to learn and grow.

Take these lessons to heart, apply them as you wish (or throw them out the window), and see how they can positively impact your well-being, relationships, and overall happiness.

Remember to always be kind to yourself, embrace your uniqueness, and live life to the fullest.

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Seetal Parikh-Chopra, PhD
Seetal Parikh-Chopra, PhD

Written by Seetal Parikh-Chopra, PhD

15+ years nonprofit leader | International Psychologist | I write about social impact, nonprofit program growth, and self-care | Proud girl mom

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